Simple: Reconfigure the schedule to play every remaining game against the Cincinnati Reds.
The Cubs beat them yesterday, 16-3, and have won the first three of a four-game series, scoring more than 10 in each game.
Please, Cubbies, don’t do it. Don’t get my hopes up. Please.
It does, it really does. And I tell them so every opportunity I get. Fortunately, I get them pretty regularly. The best part is, RedEye pays me for the privilege.
About a week after the thing started running I saw an ad where they wanted reader feedback. So I dutifully shot off an e-mail explaining as patiently as I could what an insult to the intelligence of 18-to-34-year-olds the pseudo-newspaper was.
I received in reply an invitation to join the RedEye reader panel. Every week or so, I receive via e-mail a password to participate in the latest survey. They ask questions about the latest issue, how often I read RedEye, how much money I make, etc.
For every fourth survey I fill out (they take about five minutes to complete), I get a $10 CTA transit card, though I could have gotten gift certificates to Border’s and some other places I now forget.
And at the end of each one, when they ask if I have any comments to add. I share my unsubtle point of view. How fun.
Let’s play catch-up. …
The only thing worse than having your moviegoing experience interrupted by someone who answers his cell phone in the middle of the picture is to receive a phone call from someone who’s in a movie theater, while the movie’s showing. Thanks a lot, Mom. …
Good riddance, Jerry Krause. Organizations may win championships, but it helps if they’re organized around Michael Jordan, doesn’t it? …
It’s amazing how hard it is to reach your destination when you don’t know where it is. Damn suburbs. …
Any time an employee for a big box store tells you the item you’re looking for is “at the end of the aisle, on the right,” it’s a lie. And when you turn around, the employee will be gone, never to be found again. …
Here’s a story I filed last week from RIMS, if you’re interested. …
I saw Tom Palmer speak at the University of Chicago last week, and whoever said he was brilliant, was right. …
And finally, there’s no delay at Meigs Field. Isn’t that great?
Cubs win, Sox lose. Not only did the Sox lose, but their new closer Billy Koch blew a save, giving up 4 hits and 4 runs (2 earned) in the bottom of the 8th.
The Sox are now 0-3 after having been swept by the Kansas City Royals, a team that last year finished 62-100. Awesome!
The Cubs looked dead yesterday, but bounced right back today. Maybe Dusty Baker is a miracle worker. I’ll still be thrilled if the Cubs could finish at .500 this year (which would, after all, be a 14-game improvement). Most importantly, the Cubs young nucleus needs to establish itself.
This is the year for Wood, Prior, Clement, Cruz and Zambrano to show that they will be the heart of a consistently excellent pitching staff for years to come.
This is also the year for Patterson, Choi and Hill (when he gets back up) to demonstrate that all the hype about the Cubs’ farm system was merited. If they bust, we’re right back where we started, trying to come up with a new game plan every year with other teams’ leavings.
Here’s a cute story about Barry Bonds’ admiration for lil’ Angel David Eckstein.
Apparently, Bonds picked up some hitting tips from Eckstein during their tour of Japan last fall. Does this mean Eckstein’s going to hit 70 home runs this year?
After going 4-for-6 with 2 home runs and 7 RBI on Monday, Corey Patterson reverted to form last night in the Cubs’ 4-1 loss.
Batting at the top of the order, he went 1-for-4 and struck out twice. The man should never strike out twice in a game, yet he struck out more than 140 times last year. Pathetic.
On the bright side, the White Sox lost again.
Thanks to Amy Phillips for finding this great cartoon from the Christian Science Monitor.
Not only did the Cubs slaughter the evil, evil New York Mets 15-2, but the evil Yankees' evil Derek Jeter injured his shoulder and will be out for a month.
And to top it off, the evil White Sox lost 3-0 and were held to only three hits. The only disappointment was the Red Sox' blown save-by-committee against the Devil Rays.
But if even every other day is this good, the season should be lots of fun.
Why don’t you do like Stu — and screw up another great cheesy ad jingle? Again, a legendary local jingle has been altered for the worse.
Viewers of daytime and late-night Chicago-area TV should know that after the question, “Why don’t you do like Stu?” The catchy musical suggestion is that one, “Push it, pull it, tow it to Golf Mill Ford.”
“It” is your old, broken down car, and the ad showed a hefty gentleman pushing, pulling and then towing a junker into the lot of this suburban Ford dealership.
In the new ads, there is no singing. It’s just a spoken suggestion and loses all of the force of the original.
What’s next? Attacking another country just because they might at some unspecified point in the future have weapons half the world already has? Oops.
So for Karen‘s birthday last night we dined at Geja’s and then stayed at the Hotel Monaco downtown near the Chicago River.
Geja’s is a fondue place and prides itself on “romantic fondue dining.” And, true, they do have the flamenco guitarist plinking away in the corner and the lighting is “romantic.” As for the food, I believe it’s generally accepted that melted food is more romantic.
But when the dining experience is over, how is the lingering, overpowering stench of grease supposed to help get us in the mood? Does this turn people on?
There it sits. Unloved. Unwanted. But why?
In the lobby of my building, the gift of a wide world full of possibilities awaits the “Current Resident” who has the wisdom to simply take it.
The shiny metal case, promising “1045 FREE HOURS!” But why won’t anyone pity that poor America Online promo CD?
“I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?!” it cries. “I just want to overcharge you for crappy connection service and allow spammers to target you mercilessly.”
Yet, amazingly, no one is interested. Oh, “Current Resident,” when will you ever learn?
The Cubs’ second baseman of the future will retain that status for now, as the club sent Bobby Hill down to Triple-A Iowa to somehow find the form that deserted him this spring, when he hit .154 and made five errors.
It’s a shame, because the Cubs’ needs all the help it can get. Hill was supposed to be a catalyst, a guy who could get on base ahead of Sosa, Alou and Choi.
But sending him to Iowa is the right move. Give him a month or two there to regain his form. I just hope Grudzielanek doesn’t show a sudden spark that might make Baker hesitant to play Hill most of the time when he gets called back up.
Chicagoans who watch TV are doubtless familiar with Empire Carpet, a shop-at-home carpet service that for years has had a catchy jingle, “588-2300 … Empire!”
And now they’ve gone and changed it. Now, the slogan is, “800-588-2300, Empire Today!” It just doesn’t sound right, not to these ears which have for lo these many years been comforted during many a dark moment by that catchy jingle.
Sure, the new jingle better imparts Empire’s quick service, but at what price, I ask you. At what price?
kboreilly.com 
You must be logged in to post a comment.