He’s a gamer

The Trib has a nice little story featuring a few exchanges between Cubs radio announcers Pat Hughes and Ron Santo on the subject of the latter’s various follicular accoutrements:

Pat: So your gamer is your No. 1 hairpiece?

Ron: No, my gamer is my No. 3. I just keep it there in case my hat falls off and you can see I don’t have any hair.

Check it out.

Linger on your pale blue eyes

The Stris (aka my mom, Sarah Bornstein, seen here in 1970-something, a few years before I was born) sent me a note occasioned by the 40th anniversary of the 1963 civil rights march on Washington in August.

The march was of course the scene of Martin Luther King Jr.’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech, now commemorated by McDonald’s placemats every February (you’re not a true historical figure until special sauce drips out of a Big Mac onto an artist’s rendering of you).

So here it is:

August 28, 2003

On being part of a history by accident

Like millions of Americans, I am thinking about the historic march on Washington forty years ago today. I am thinking about the dream still deferred and the wonders of inspiration one day can provide. I was lucky and privileged enough to be in Washington on that hot August day. But I’d forgotten about my precise motivation for making the three-hour bus trip from Philadelphia to D.C. until I received a call from an old friend.

It was close to 11 last night when I got a call from Sallie Zemlin. I hadn’t seen or talked to her in at least 25 years. But she was one of the members of my synagogue youth group who made the trip to Washington for the march. She was thinking of me, she said, and decided to call. Since I am the only “S. Bornstein” in the Chicago phone book, I’m not that hard to find. It was great to hear from her.

We caught up on the details of our lives, of course, and then she hit me with the zinger.

“So, Sarah, do you remember why you agreed to go on the march?”

“Gee,” I replied, “I guess I just thought it was a good opportunity, and the youth group was paying, and all that.”

“No,” she said. “You had decided against going, remember? And then I called you and told you that Michael Silver was going. That’s why you went.”

Oh yeah. Michael Silver. I had forgotten about him. He was a guy I knew from our religious school classes — he went to another high school, so the bus trip was a good opportunity to flirt with him. He was very bright and very intense and had these beautiful blue eyes. Probing my memory about all this, I remember that it was actually rather selfish of me to chase after Michael Silver. I already had a boyfriend that I had met at camp that summer. But, as the vagaries of adolescence will have it, he liked me more than I liked him, so he was automatically less attractive than someone who appeared to have absolutely no interest in me whatsoever.

Again, searching my memory, I recall that, as usual, Michael barely spoke to me on the three-hour trip to Washington. But about two hours into the journey, as I began to see hundreds of buses on the highway, filled with people, black and white, from all parts of the country, with signs and banners adorning their vehicles, I knew that I was about to be part of something phenomenal and monumental and extraordinary. I had been conscious of the civil rights struggle, of course, and had been part of “weekend workgroups” in the inner city with African-American counterparts (I think we still used the term “Negro” then). But I wasn”t fully aware of or engaged in the magnitude of the movement. Never before had I been anyplace where so many people were brought together by shared commitment to a cause. It was a life-changing experience. And, who knows, if Sallie hadn’t called me to tell me who was going, I might never have been part of it.

So many words have been and will be written about what that day meant to America. Nothing I can say will add insight into the historical significance of Martin Luther King’s dream and its still unfulfilled promises. But it makes me smile to think, as I reflect on my own life and the directions it has taken, that had it not been for a vain girlhood crush, I might never have been part of one of the most historic events of the twentieth century. But then, history is full of accidents like that. And I remember thinking on the trip home, as I was filled with exhilaration, pride and excitement, that I didn’t care at all about Michael Silver.

I told The Stris I wondered whatever happened to Michael Silver. She said she thought he wound up at MIT. Michael Silver, if you’re out there … just be thankful you’re not my daddy!

Thanks for letting me share, Mom.

When I was 22

Nice story by Melissa Isaacson in the Tribune today on Mark Prior, whose approach to the game is outstanding.

The young man has amazing talent, yes, but a really good head on his shoulders too:

“This is a very humbling game, a game that can bite you in the butt,” he says. “It’s built on very negative statistics. A good hitter gets a hit 30 percent of the time he’s up to bat. You’re not a good shooter if you hit 30 percent in basketball. No other sport is so negative.

“But it’s funny: That’s the thing I love. Every time you show up, there is something to learn.”

Aside from lacking Prior’s talent, I definitely didn’t have his maturity when I was 22. Heck, I barely had passing grades in college. Prior is, without question, my favorite player in baseball today.

I hope to watch him for years in a Cubs uniform. It would be nice if I had an authentic Mark Prior Cubs jersey to watch him in!

Well, today has been a sad ol’ lonesome day

To say that we remember or commemorate the tragic events of two years ago tomorrow is to imply that we’ve somehow forgotten them.

But of course we haven’t. To remember the immense sadness of Sept. 11, 2001, takes but the slightest daily effort to notice the undeniable joy, evil, and absurdity of life on this planet.

Every breath taken by a loved one is a reminder of what we lost — what was taken from us — that day by those murderous thugs. It doesn’t take an act of mental decathlete gymnastica to appreciate the simple fact of a life’s rippling value and the searing pain of its absence.

Multiply it 3,000 times and more. Multiply that by the number nearly lost, the could-have lost, the similarly lost in the past and the ones who will be so lost in the future in every murder, every war, every dictatorship and we begin to approach the throat-swelling effect of the memory of Sept. 11, 2001.

What we can do is confuse the matter with something other than grief. We can use the dead to sell a car alarm, a gas mask, an insurance policy, a charity, a law, a war.

We can. We obviously have. It’s human nature to react to horror with every emotion but the one it so obviously demands. It’s human nature to splash the water to stop it from rippling its small, slow waves that eventually encircle us all.

Only one game

I keep telling myself that. Tonight’s tragic come-from-ahead 8-4 loss to the San Juan Expos is only one “L” in the book. All the things favoring the Cubs the rest of the way — a very soft schedule, a good road record, strong starting pitching — have not been erased by tonight’s loss. Tomorrow’s another day.

But boy if it doesn’t feel like the guts haven’t just been ripped out of this season. I wasn’t even a twinkle in my father’s eye in 1969 but this must be what it felt like, except the pain of that season’s slow march into a distant second place has been compacted into one ugly loss by the light of a full moon.

All the elements of a crippler are there. The Cubs get four early on three home runs against a pitcher who doesn’t give up long balls. Their starting pitcher, Matt Clement, has great stuff but has to leave in the sixth inning with a no-hitter on the books but three walked Expos on the bases.

The lefty reliever, Mark Guthrie, comes in and promptly walks two more batters. The righty reliever, Dave Veres, comes in and gives up a hit on one pitch. Three runs in, three men on, now only one-run lead and no one out. Remarkably, Veres gets out of the inning. Of course he does. This is the Cubs’ year, after all.

Right?

An uneventful seventh and then the egregious eighth. The Cubs gave the Expos five walks in the sixth, and five outs in the eighth. The first extra out was on a weak grounder to first baseman Randall Simon, who apparently confused himself for Dennis Rodman in his attempt to stretch out his arms and tag Cabrera passing by, instead of just tossing the ball to second baseman Mark Grudzielanek who stood on first base with nothing else to do.

The second extra out was on the pop-up by Jose Macias — who? — that appeared to be the end of the inning and, with closer Borowski coming in to face the bottom third of the Expos’ order, effectively the ballgame.

But the play was not made. It appeared to me that shortstop Alex Gonzalez was in the best position to get it, but lost it in the minor-league San Juan lights. Alou ran in but couldn’t get to it in time before it bounced high off the artificial turf.

And that was it. I took the dog for a walk. That’s it. Game over. One game — over. But the season?

Looking at tomorrow’s matchup it is hard to get too depressed. Mark Prior — the phenom, the stopper, the stud — is on the mound tomorrow. He hasn’t lost since July.

Every game counts, it’s said. It’s a truism, yes, but for good reason — it’s true! They all count equally, whether lost in March or September, but it doesn’t seem they’re all counted equally, does it? The Cardinals won tonight leaving them 1.5 games back, and the Astros are about to finish up a 3-1 win over the Brewers putting them up by a game.

One game. One lousy game. But damn it, Cubbies — I’ve only got one heart. How many times are you going to break it?

More fun with AOLer Translator

Here’s Bob Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone” in AOLese:

ONC3 UPON A TIEM U DRES3D SO
U THR3W DA BUMS A DIEM IN UR PRIEM DIDNT U??!?!??!
OMG LOL CAL SAY R DOL UR BOUND 2
U THOUGHT THEY WARE AL KIDIN U
US3D 2 LAUGH ABOUT
AVERYBODY TAHT WAS HANGIN OUT
NOW U DONT TOK SO LOUD
NOW U DONT SEM SO PROUD
ABOUT HAVNG 2 B SCROUNGNG FOR UR NEXT MEAL
HOW!11111 WTF DOES IT FEL
HOW DOES IT FEL
2 B WITHOUT A HOM3
LIEK A COMPL3T3 UNKNOWN
LIEK A ROLNG U??!??! OMG WTF LOL

GONA 2 TEH FIENST SKOOL AL RIGHT MIS LONELY
BUT U KNOW U ONLY US3D 2 G3T JUIECD IN IT
AND NOBODY HAS AVER TAUGHT U HOW 2 LIEV ON DA STRET
AND NOW U FIND OUT UR GONA HAEV 2 GET USED 2
U SADE U NAV3R WIT TEH MYST3RY TRMP BUT NOW U R3ALIEZ
H3S NOT SELNG ANY ALIBIS
AS U R IN2 TEH VACUM OF HIS EYES
AND ASK HIM DO U WANT 2 MAEK A D3AL
HOW??!!!?!? WTF LOL DO3S IT FEL
HOW DOES IT FEL
2 B ON UR WIT NO DIERCTION HOME
LIEK A COMPLATE UNKNOWN
LIEK A ROLNG U?!?!!!??? OMG WTF

N3VER TURN3D AROUND 2 SE DA FROWNS ON DA JUGL3RS AND TEH CLOWNS
WHAN TH3Y AL COM3 DOWN AND DID TRIKS FOR U NEVAR UNDARS2D TAHT IT ANET NO U SHUDNT LET OTHER P3OPL3 GET UR KIKS FOR U US3D 2 RIED ON TEH CHROME HORSE WIT UR DIPLOMAT
WHO CAREID ON HIS SHUDER A SIMES3 CAT
ANET IT HARD WHEN U DISCOVER TAHT
HE RILLY WASNT WHER3 ITS AT
AFTER HE 2K FROM U 3V3RYTHNG H3 CUD ST3AL
HOW!1!11! OMG DO3S IT FEL
HOW DOES IT FEL
2 B ON UR WIT NO DIERCTION HOM3
LIEK A COMPL3TE UNKNOWN
LIEK A ROLNG S2NA
PRINCAS?!!!! OMG WTF ON DA STEPLA AND AL DA PRATY THERE DRINKIN THINKIN TAHT THEY GOT IT MAED

EXCHANGNG AL KINDS OF PRECIOUS GIFTS AND THNGS
BUT U BT3R LIFT UR DIMOND RNG U BT3R PAWN IT U US3D 2 B SO MUS3D
AT NAPOL3ON IN RAGS AND DA LANGUAEG TAHT H3 US3D
GO 2 HIM NOW HA CALS U U CANT REFUSA
WHEN U GOT NOTHNG U GOT NOTHNG 2 UR INVISIBL3 NOW U GOT NO SECRETS 2 CONCAAL
HOW11!!!!1 WTF LOL DOES IT FEL
HOW DO3S IT FEL
2 B ON UR WIT NO DIERCTION HOM3
LIEK A COMPLAT3 UNKNOWN
LIEK A ROLNG S2N3

??!!?!!? OMG LOL

Interestingly, this does a pretty decent job of capturing the intense lunacy of Bob’s vocal on the 1965 recording of this song.

ROTFLMAO!!!

Brooke Oberwetter points to the very neat AOLer Translator, which translates any text into the output of a 12-year-old AOL user. Below is the Gettysburg Address:

FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN Y3ARS AGO OUR FATHARS BROUGHT FORTH ON THIS CONTIENNT A NU NATION CONCAIEVD IN LIEBRTY AND DEDICAETD 2 TEH PROPOSITION TAHT AL M3N R CR3AETD EQUAL1!!1!1!

OMG LOL NOW WE R ENGAEGD IN A GREAT CIVIL WAR TESTNG WHETH3R TAHT NATION OR ANY NATION SO CONCEIEVD AND SO DEDICAETD CAN LONG ANDURE!1!1!1! WTF WE R M3T ON A GR3AT BATLAFEILD OF TAHT WAR!1!!!! OMG LOL W3 HAEV COME 2 DADICAET A PORTION OF TAHT FEILD AS A FINAL RASTNG-PLAEC FOR THOS3 WHO H3RA GAEV THERE LIEVS TAHT TAHT NATION MIGHT LIEV1!!1! OMG LOL IT IS AL2G3TH3R FITNG AND PROPER TAHT W3 SHUD DO THIS11!11!1 LOL BUT IN A LARG3R SENSE W3 CANOT DADICAET WE CANOT CONSECRAET W3 CANOT HALOW THIS GROUND11!!!1!! OMG WTF LOL TEH BRAEV MEN LIVNG AND DEAD WHO STRUGL3D HARA HAEV CONSECRAETD IT FAR ABOVE OUR POR POWER 2 AD OR DETRACT11!1

OMG WTF DA WORLD WIL LITL3 NOTA NOR LONG REM3MBR WUT WA SAY HAR3 BUT IT CAN N3V3R FORG3T WT DID HERE1!11 OMG WTF LOL IT IS FOR US DA LIVNG RATH3R 2 B DEDICAETD HERE 2 TEH UNFINISHAD WORK WHICH THAY WHO FOUGHT HERE HAEV THUS FAR SO NOBLY ADVANC3D1!!111! OMG LOL IT IS RATH3R FOR US 2 B HERE DADICAETD 2 TEH GR3AT TASK REMANENG BFORA US-TAHT FROM THES3 HONORED D3AD W3 TAEK INCREAESD DAVOTION 2 TAHT CAUS3 FOR WHICH TH3Y GAEV DA LAST FUL M3ASUR3 OF DAVOTION-TAHT WE H3R3 HIGHLY RESOLVE TAHT TH3SA DEAD SHAL NOT HAEV DEID IN VANE TAHT THIS NATION UND3R GOD SHAL HAEV A NU BIRTH OF FREDOM AND TAHT GOVERNMENT OF TEH PEOPL3 BY TEH PEOPLE FOR TEH P3OPL3 SHAL NOT PERISH FROM TEH EARTH 11111!! OMG WTF LOL

Abe sez, “WTF?!?!?!”

So much for Dean

Antiwar.com’s Justin Raimondo writes the obituary of Dean as anti-warrior with his usual subtlety. He lambasts “the Dean deception” and calls him a “lying SOB” for his refusal to advocate pulling the troops out of Iraq until “the job is done.”

While I don’t feel betrayed by Dean — his coming out in favor of the Liberia misadventure illustrated his lack of clear non-interventionist principles — I too am saddened by the fact that it’s now clear there will be no anti-Iraq occupation presidential nominee coming out of the Democratic camp. At least there would have been a debate, even if it was one Dean was likely to lose.

(Reposted from Stand Down.)

“All on Fire”

I picked up this biography of anti-slavery agitator William Lloyd Garrison in a used-book store a few weeks ago and it is truly inspiring. I recommend it to any lover of liberty.

While I’m not the moralist Garrison was (though if there’s any political issue deserving of stern moralism, slavery would certainly be it), his approach to politics has a lot to recommend it. For example, he didn’t vote for a single politician until Lincoln’s bid for reelection, by which time it was clear he was committed to ending slavery.

Garrison saw it as a tacit endorsement of a system perpetrating evil. But he did take pains to commend mainstream politicians when they took positions he favored, even if they may have fallen far short of the immediate abolition he so fervently advocated week after week in “The Liberator.”

In other words, Garrison attempted to nurture anti-slavery feeling until it could enter the realm of mainstream politics. There was no point, in his view, of attempting politics when the game was so far removed from where he thought the issue should be joined.

He also resisted other abolitionists’ attempts at third parties (the Free-Soil and Liberty parties, to jog a few cobwebs from your U.S. history survey class). His view was that abolitionists made for lousy politicians, and couldn’t possibly compete for office without toning down their radicalism, so why bother?

All of this makes a lot of sense to me, and I think applies very well to today’s liberty movement. Why support a lousy third party like the LP, which (1) won’t win in our two-party system and (2) only feeds egoes and distracts from the real work of promoting liberty.

What it takes to make progress is the heavy intellectual lifting the libertarian think tanks and litigation work that groups like Cato, Heartland, Reason and the Institute for Justice do.

And, too, maybe a little more outrage. On a lot of issues, we don’t quite have the black-and-white crystal clarity of an issue like slavery or civil rights, but there’s a lot of hurt and suffering out there done at the pleasure of our government and at the bidding of our politicians. That’s something to be outraged about. And I don’t think there’s any shame in saying so, in a way that can be felt and appreciated by people without doctorates in economics.

(Also posted to Circle Bastiat.)

There’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief

The perverse results of the president’s decision to invade Iraq should now be obvious to everyone. There was no weapons threat and no Iraq-Al Qaeda connection.

Now, Al Qaeda operatives are streaming into Iraq with the help of Iran and cooperating with remnants of the Hussein regime in a head-on attempt to damage and humiliate the United States. Furthermore, the ranks of viable recruits is as long as the list of newly radicalized Muslims in the whole of Iraq.

We are lucky only that they appear to have — for the time being — chosen Iraq as their prime target rather than “the homeland.” Still, the national-security benefit of the Iraq war is still highly dubious. Instead of attacking Al Qaeda at “the time of our choosing,” they have American soldiers on their heels, nervous that around every corner is another disaster.

The Hussein regime was successfully contained, but the anarchic Iraq of today is a greater threat than ever to U.S. security. The president’s policy of unncecessary, preemptive war created this dilemma. This is the worst of all: Now the battle against Al Qaeda must share time, energy, and increasingly scarce resources with the ungainly attempt to remake an ethnically and religiously fractured country which has known only oppression and a Soviet-style economy into a functioning, democratic, tolerant society devoted to free enterprise and the suppression of terrorism.

To stay means serving as a target and recruiting tool for anti-American terrorists while sucking up the military resources so badly needed to fight the terror war on the homefront and elsewhere around the globe. To leave quickly probably means making Iraq just another client state with a questionable devotion to fighting terrorism and yet another example of the United States’ lackluster devotion to democracy in the Middle East.

There is, as Justin Raimondo writes, “no U-turn on the road to empire.” Other than that, it’s been a splendid little war.

To maneuver ourselves out of this sticky situation would take the intelligence of a rocket scientist and the delicate touch of a brain surgeon. Whatever else might be said about Dubya, he doesn’t possess those qualities. He doesn’t possess even the inclination to reflect that he was wrong to have fought this war.

I don’t know what the best way out of this box is. Frankly, I’m too disgusted to even bother trying to conjure the ideal solution anyway, since it’s so painfully obvious that Dubya & Co. are impervious to the colossal nature of their mistake. Of course it’s good that Hussein is gone. The war can’t be said to have been a total failure because it did achieve the ouster of his regime, but U.S. security should be the first objective of U.S. foreign policy (an exotic idea, I know), and this war has done nothing to further U.S. security and done just about everything to endanger it.

I only hope at this point Iraq doesn’t go as badly as it can, not too many American soldiers come home in bodybags, and that Dubya & Co. don’t get the notion that another little war — this time with Iran — is the way to take their Iraq troubles off the front pages.

(Also posted to Stand Down.)