Aww, that’s super

I don’t think I am in possession of the requisite superlatives to describe “Punch-Drunk Love.” It is fabulous. It is fantastic. It is fantabulastic. It is, finally, alive.

Every shot makes you smile with wonder at how beautiful it is. Jon Brion‘s score seems to punctuate entire scenes. How much of a genius is Paul Thomas Anderson? He finally made a good Adam Sandler movie.

Punch-Drunk Love” is laugh-out-loud funny, but also very touching. Not touching in an “oh-that-music-is-playing-so-I’m-supposed-to-care-now” way, but in a real way that makes you glad to be human. Karen says she loves Anderson’s movies because they make her feel normal, beautiful and right. They make you feel connected.

They give you a reason to think there is still some hope for the movies, in spite of all evidence to the contrary.

No big names for the Cubs

I’m not sure how to feel about Teddy Greenstein’s report that Cubs general manager Jim Hendry is leaning toward going with someone without previous managerial experience as new skipper.

On one hand, I can see either Melvin or Macha being better with younger players and being more patient about winning. On the other hand, it would be nice to bring in a Lou Piniella or a Dusty Baker who has a proven track record of winning. The last “name” manager the Cubs hired was Jim Frey, and even he had had only one good year, taking the Royals to the Series in 1980.

Before that … Leo Durocher. How much difference does a manager make to a team anyway? That’s one thing that even baseball experts aren’t sure about. A bad manager can do harm, but even a good manager can’t win with a bad team.

Less money for a big name means more money for a good middle reliever or a third baseman with pop, either of which would probably win more games than the best manager out there. Still, I can’t help
but feel that the Cubs are just going with the same old hand-me-down routine in their managerial search.

TSA is a joke

A man bolted past O’Hare security guards Tuesday night. The United terminal was evacuated and two planes were delayed two hours while passengers were scrutinized by police dogs.

Here’s the kicker: “‘Oddly enough, they didn’t supposedly see the person, which is very disturbing,’ said Isaac Richardson, the Transportation Security Administration’s chief at O’Hare.”

Oddly enough, federalizing airport security was an idiotic idea. Does anyone doubt that the screeners who let this happen will not be punished, let alone fired?

Those wacky Libertarians

Old Chicago LP buddy Matt Beauchamp is finally breaking through the big media lockout in his race to unseat Jesse White as Secretary of State. He’s the star of Sun-Times columnist Mark Brown’s story today, generously headlined, “Ranting ‘gun nut’ shoots himself in the foot.”

Brown had written a column excoriating the Illinois State Rifle Association for speculating in its newsletter that gun-control advocates might be behind the sniper attacks in the D.C. area. An easy target, but certainly worthwhile. Brown then wrote a column about Officer Benjamin Perez, who was killed by a commuter train during a drug stakeout but is not being honored by the Chicago Police Department. Luckily, Beauchamp did us all the favor of writing an e-mail to Brown, who quotes the whole thing in his column. And we’ll do the same here:

First off, your column yesterday was highly insulting to gun owners. I have owned guns for years, can correctly spell NRA and probably have a much better education than you. Furthermore, the NRA is hardly the group of choice anymore–they are far too liberal and willing to hand over gun rights than, say, the Gun Owners of America or the 2nd Amendment Foundation, or even Conceal Carry Inc. right here in Illinois.

Funny how you idolize the cops (who carry guns)–blubbering over ‘fallen heroes’ like Benjamin Perez or recounting your scary day at the police academy. So it’s OK for cops to carry guns, but not me? I’m sure your answer will be ‘but they’re trained to shoot.’ Alright, how about this: I’ll make a wager with you right now (knowing that you’re too big a pussy to take it). Pull one random name from a list of cops who have been on the force for over five years, and I’ll compete against him at the gun range. I’ll bet you $500 I’m a better shot.

As for your hero Perez getting his number retired, here’s the truth: Perez is a klutz who fell onto a railroad track while watching suspected drug dealers. If drugs were legal, this never would have happened. Any cop who dies in that fashion has no sympathy from me. People should be free to treat their bodies as they like–eat fatty foods (you certainly look like you indulge in this one, Mark), smoke cigarettes, joints, snort blow, whatever. When the government comes in and decides they know best–well, I can’t get too teary-eyed when they lost one of their own trying to enforce idiotic laws.

Good day to you, sir.

The rest of the column writes itself, of course. But you’ve got to hand it to Beauchamp. In the space of only a few paragraphs, he managed to: (1) Admit he was more extremist than the NRA, (2) insult a dead police officer and his family, (3) brag about his shooting capabilities, and (4) praise drug use.

I guess he got his name in the paper, and that might be all that matters to him. Brown went on to actually plug Beauchamp’s campaign Web site, where he touts his plan to give drivers their license in 15 minutes or charge them nothing. His ideas for reform aren’t bad and his site uses humor effectively.

Beauchamp re-energized the Chicago LP and is a smart guy with flair. But he is clearly out to just make noise, not make a difference. Sometimes the two are the same, but in this case Beauchamp badly misjudged what the public has a tolerance for. And it’s guys like him I have to explain away when I tell people I’m a libertarian.

Damn Yankees

So now that our World Series matchup is in place, we see that, combined, the Angels and Giants franchises have gone 99 years with a world championship. Aw, Jeez, they’re getting spoiled.

I mean the Yankees only won four in the last six years and 26 total. Poor Yankees fans. Poor, poor Yankees fans. Lucky us. I look forward to a fantastic World Series.

I was very happy to see David Bell sliding into home tonight on Kenny Lofton’s bottom-of-the-ninth single, and will be rooting hard for Barry and the Giants. But it couldn’t come close to my mania at seeing ex-Cub Mark Grace and the D-Backs beat Mariano Rivera and the Yankees in the ninth inning of the seventh game of last year’s Series.

Maddux to the Cubs?

The Braves will not be able to re-sign both Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux. Should the Cubs go after the one-time bruin?

They have a surfeit of pitching talent, but with Lieber questionable after a season-ending arm surgery this year, it would be nice to have a veteran presence to anchor the starting staff. But really, it doesn’t make sense. Maddux already makes $13 million and will probably want more, plus a long-term contract, which at 36 is of course a gamble.

Maddux had some back trouble this year that could be a sign of health troubles just beginning, though he’s been healthy throughout his entire career. Additionally, he does not depend on “stuff” to get by, but natural movement on his pitches. Today we see pitchers like Randy Johnson and Roger Clemens who continue pitching very well into their late 30s. If anyone else could do it, Maddux could.

With that signing, the Cubs would instantly have one of the best starting staffs in the major leagues: Maddux, Lieber, Wood, Prior and Clement. Then promising youngsters Zambrano and Cruz could anchor the bullpen and Bere could be traded for another middle reliever. But this is probably just wishful thinking. The Cubs need a third baseman (cuando?) and a solid left-handed middle reliever.

It would be cool, though, to have him finish his career here. The Cubs could be the Braves of this decade. They’ve got the young pitching talent, and if Choi, Patterson and Hill are what they’re supposed to be …

Congressmen introduce anti-andro bill

The crusade to outlaw performance-enhancing drugs continues. I think there are perfectly valid reasons for organized sports to forbid use of these drugs. They upset the ideal of competitive balance and arguably ratchet up the pressure on athletes to improve performance at the expense of their long-term health.

But giving these good intentions the force of law is a different story. It should come as no surprise that one of the co-sponsors of the legislation is former University of Nebraska head football coach Tom Osborne. But once andro is illegal, athletes looking to take a short cut to the top will find that if they are already breaking the law, there’s no reason not to skip right over andro straight to anabolic steroids, whose deleterious effects are much more well known and pretty much beyond debate.

The Olympics rules committee, the NCAA, and professional sports have a perfect right to make rules regarding what substances they allow players to use. But stretching those rules to cover the whole of society is to overstep their bounds and use government to punish people for bad judgment. If sports as a collective want to engage in a crusade against andro — through random testing, education, whatever — that’s fine. But leave the rest of America alone. The last thing we need is another illegal drug on the streets.

Barry! Barry!

Any hint that Bonds would be haunted by playoff performances past should by now be thoroughly extinguished. First, he went 2-for-3 with a home run and two runs scored in the Giants’ thrilling game five win over the Braves (poor, poor Braves). Then yesterday the Cardinals made the mistake of pitching to Bonds instead of loading the bases and he made them pay by hitting a bases-clearing triple. Awesome.

But Benito Santiago is a key too. In addition to being the most patient hitter in baseball today, Bonds is the most pitched-around hitter in baseball today. Which means No. 5 hitter Santiago has to come through. And he did last night.

Let’s face it. The Cardinals have the better team, as did the Braves. This is all about who can perform in the playoffs. Rueter wasn’t great, but he was good enough, and Nen once again closed it out in the ninth. Enough home runs from Santiago, Bell and others not expected to turn the tide for the Giants and they could very well sneak into the World Series.

I just hope that Lofton’s outburst didn’t give the Cardinals even more ganas, as if they’re not playing for Darryl Kile and Jack Buck already. But no matter how energized the Cards are, they can’t win if their starting pitchers throw the way Morris did last night. Woody Williams could be a turning point in this series. If he’s really healthy and he can go toe-to-toe with Giants ace Jason Schmidt, then we’re looking at a wide open 1-1 series instead of an almost sure-thing 2-0 Giants lead going back to San Francisco.

As for the Angels, they did what they needed to do, which was get out to an early lead over the Twins and take the mammoth crowd out of the game. They only needed to win one in Minnesota, and they got it. On the other hand, the Twins probably feel they only need to win one in Anaheim, because no team can beat them in games six and seven of a series in the Metrodome.

Press coverage

This story by Eric Krol in the Daily Herald highlights some of the work we’ve done researching campaign contributions to the Illinois gubernatorial by O’Hare contractors.

Surprise, surprise — Democrat Rod Blagojevich, who is gung-ho for expansion, is receiving eight times as much in contributions and O’Hare-related donors make up 8 percent of his total take. Then again, he’s raised a lot more money than Ryan to begin with. And he’ll win. The question is whether he’ll give Daley a headache by asking for a piece of the action at an expanded O’Hare.

Of course, Blagojevich’s biggest mistake — at least as far as entertainment value goes — is forsaking what should be his campaign slogan: “In Rod We Trust.”

Patrick Corcoran of the Elk Grove Times wrote a very favorable piece about our report, “The O’Hare Scandal: Hijacking the System.” I’m even mentioned in the story — undeservedly so, of course. What’s funny is that two people who’ve been with AIP since the beginning (Bryan Doyle and Drew Adamek) had their names misspelled, while I — the newcomer — had his name spelled perfectly. Fortune smiles upon me.

The Boss

Which reminds me. My dad and I went to see Bruce Springsteen in Milwaukee last week. It was a very good show, as one would expect from one of the great live performers of all time. My brief impression was that Bruce was much more attentive to his songs from “The Rising” than to the older material. Not that he gave “Badlands” or “Born to Run” short shrift, exactly, but I sensed that he wasn’t as interested in them as he was in the new stuff. Only natural, I suppose.

And I must compliment Bruce on the fact that even though we had terrible seats (way up, behind the stage), the acoustics were flawless and the huge video screens helped bring you into the show a little bit more. I don’t know if I’d make the drive again to see Springsteen, but it was cool to see a legend in person.

The Prine and DeMent set

As with their show at Old Town a couple of years back, Iris DeMent made up for a lackluster opening set by doing a fine job on her duets with John Prine. While DeMent is blessed with a singularly interesting hillbilly-meets-hobo voice, she’s not much of a songwriter.

Aside from “Let the Mystery Be.” “Mama’s Opry” and a couple of other tunes, most of her songs, plodded along with little of interest melodically or lyrically.

John Prine’s songs, of course, sparkle with whimsy and heart. From old chestnuts like “Fish and Whistle” to haunting ’90s tunes like “Lake Marie,” Prine covered the gamut during his nearly two-hour show at the Symphony Center. Prine’s voice, always a gravelly thing, is even shakier now that he is two years on from surgery to remove a cancer from his throat.

But though he struggled to hit some of the notes on his own songs, the pauses he took to catch his breath made already haunting songs like “Angel From Montgomery” and “Hello in There” into devastating timepieces.

I felt lucky to be there. It’s hard to tell how much longer Prine can tour like this, with two young kids (who for a portion of the show were visible to the side of the stage) at home.But I was there last night, and I was very glad I was.