Still, Wood will be out for almost three weeks.
Amusements
Knock on Wood
I should be in a good mood considering the Cubs recaptured a tie for first place with the Reds (yes, the Reds) after taking two of three from the hated Redbirds. But no:
Kerry Wood will have a bone scan Monday after he cut short a live batting practice session Sunday when he felt more discomfort in his right triceps.
The Cubs are really doing a remarkable job of staying in the hunt considering that three everyday players, two ace starting pitchers, and their two left-handed relievers are all on the disabled list. That’s really a credit to Baker as a manager for keeping the team focused and to Hendry as a GM for making sure the team had such great depth.
I hope that this Wood news is just the Cubs being overly cautious. So far that caution seems to have paid off with Prior, in spite of my worst fears about his injuries.
Hopefully the test comes back negative and Woody just builds the arm back up. Or something. Once again, this is the kind of injury that could be devastating not just for the next few weeks or even just this year, but for the future of the franchise. I’d say the same of Sosa’s back spasms (a notoriously recurring injury) if I felt he were really important to the team’s long-term future.
He’s still an excellent player, but considering his age and his declining statistics he is no longer “the franchise.”
Monterey chicken fiasco
I had a hankering today for what back East they call grinders, which are essentially submarine sandwiches except they are toasted resulting in crispy, melty goodness. Though I’ve never had a Quizno’s Sub, as far as I understand it they are just grinders with fancy bread.
There just so happens to be a great grinder joint here in Chicago called Eastern Style Pizza, which advertises “East Coast recipes in Chicago.”
After much deliberation, I decided on the Monterey chicken grinder. Before reading the menu description of the sandwich below, please place your protective plastic drool covering on the keyboard now, so as to avoid any salivation-related malfunctions later:
Skinless grilled chicken breast, garlic sauce, sweet cooked peppers, tomato sauce, and melted mozzarella cheese … on large French bread baked till crispy and golden brown in our stone bottom oven.
The Monterey chicken grinder, along with my 32-ounce orange soda, totaled $8.37. I grabbed my Sun-Times and took a seat to wait for my indescribably delicious treat. Having already read the Trib, it didn’t take me more than a few minutes to finish the Sun-Times since it had nothing unique to offer.
I sipped my soda and stared out the window wistfully, anxiously glancing back toward the counter, hoping they’d call out my order soon. Finally, after 15 grueling minutes, the (probably Greek) counter man looked at me and said, “Monterey chicken! You’re up!”
(Incidentally, I know I’m in the right kind of place when I’m referred to by the name of the food I’ve ordered.)
I hopped up and grabbed my grinder, which came wrapped in deli paper on one of those red plastic trays, which was perfectly shaped to accommodate the grinder. I took two eager steps back toward my booth near the window when tragedy struck. It wasn’t as if I had my hands full. I wasn’t fumbling around with my wallet or a drink. I just fumbled the damn tray.
It came tumbling out of my hands and before I could even think to yell “Noooooooooooo!!!” slow-motion style a la Clint Eastwood in “In the Line of Fire” the whole gooey, sloppy, delicious concoction was on the floor, a totally unredeemable mess.
I picked it up and threw it away. I was too embarrassed to even ask if they might be willing to replace my order at no cost, and moreover I didn’t see the justice of such a request. I certainly didn’t want to wait another 15 minutes. The moment was gone. I grabbed my 32-ounce orange soda, left the Sun-Times, and headed for the truck.
The smell of those freshly sliced tomatoes still haunts me.
First Cubs game of the year
I usually make it a habit not to buy advance tickets for any Cubs game before June 1, because while I love baseball I prefer to watch it in summer-like weather and in Chicago that’s a crap shoot even in late May.
I made an exception for today’s game against the Giants, seeing as how this is their only trip to Chicago this year and so my only opportunity to see Barry Bonds in person. Well, I may see him in person, but whether he’ll actually play is also a crap shoot, thanks to a creaky back.
The weather, as usual for this time of year, is anybody’s guess. It’s supposed to be warm — as high as 80 degrees — but with a strong chance of thunderstorms later in the afternoon.
After all that, I just hope the Cubs pull out the rubber game of this series.
UPDATE: Cubs lost a real heartbreaker, 5-3, after Alou tied it with a two-run homer. Joe Borowski once again called into question whether he’s a reliable closer by giving up a two-run shot to the very, very light-hitting Neifi Perez.
It did not rain, but Bonds did not play. The weather was suitably hot and humid, as it should be for a baseball game. If I wanted to freeze my ass off while watching a sporting event, I’d become a football fan.
Lastly and for the record, today was not my first Cubs game this year. My dad and I also saw the Cubs lose 11-10 to another mediocre team, the Reds, back in April. You’d think I’d have remembered the game where Sosa tied and eventually broke Ernie Banks record for most home runs by a Cub.
I guess I only remember the painful things.
A great one-liner …
… spotted in the June 2004 edition of Liberty magazine, penned by Eric Kenning:
English grammar and syntax are out of the range of George W. Bush, who starts sentences the way he starts wars, without any idea of how they will end.
Beautiful!
Blah blah blogging
What happens when a Fox affiliate news program reports on the obviously brand new blogging craze?
Let’s just say there are hilarious consequences. See for yourself. (Thanks to Liza for the pointer.)
… uncanny but true
I received this e-mail spam a couple of weeks ago, and I just have to share it:
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And the determinant of our destination is based on our internal vision of ourselves. Far more are we then just masked, mundane tissues of flesh. We are emotional creatures with an astounding potential for heartfelt expression, intensity and passion, however we are also quite stifled by man’s arena of pretentious ethics of professionalism and the chaotic civilization of business.
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When the closing stages of my road is approaching, I shall not count the quantity of business cards I was able to bizarrely sale, I shall evaluate my worth by the amount of people I touched along the way. After all, “in the end, that is all that will count for anything of important measure.
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Oh how I wish I had those interior, magic wings.
Dubya freshens full of life!
I love this bit from one of the excerpts from Bob Woodward’s new book, “Plan of Attack”:
The Joint Chiefs’ staff had placed a peppermint at each place. Bush unwrapped his and popped it into his mouth. Later he eyed Cohen’s mint and flashed a pantomime query, Do you want that? Cohen signaled no, so Bush reached over and took it. Near the end of the hour-and-a-quarter briefing, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Army Gen. Henry H. Shelton, noticed Bush eyeing his mint, so he passed it over.
To paraphrase Nelson Muntz: By the end, his breath was so fresh, he wasn’t really the president anymore.
Mama said there’d be days like this
She didn’t actually tell me; she just never discouraged my Cubs habit.
It is, however, days like this that make me wonder whether (1) signing Maddux wasn’t a terrible mistake and (2) whether the Cubs will even win more games than they lose this season.
UPDATE: After walking Sport for the second time today in the fierce, chilly Chicago winds, I’ve decided to write the entire day off to the bad weather. Maddux and the rest, therefore, get a wind check for this game, so to speak. I realize, by the way, that this isn’t very logical since the Pirates both hit and pitched just fine under the exact same weather condition, but please don’t bother me with the fact once I’ve made up my mind. Thank you.
Bad news, bad news come to me where I sleep
You might as well write it in the book right now, judging from this Mike Kiley story in today’s Sun-Times:
Mark Prior declared he isn’t ready to get on the mound, even though the team had said he might throw off the mound Sunday or today.
Prior has stopped even thinking about a possible return date — that’s how uncertain his return is. But he pointed out that he usually takes six weeks of throwing time to prepare for the start of spring training, and he is not even at that stage.
Based on that schedule, it now seems possible Prior might not be recovered from his bouts with right Achilles tendinitis and an inflamed right elbow until late May or June.
“My arm is not in shape yet, not enough to get on the mound,” Prior said Sunday. “I want to get on the mound, but I know long toss is better to get my arm in shape right now. It’s more of a gut thing. I just know it’s not strong enough. It’s not as easy to throw long toss as it usually is.”
Prior again played catch Sunday on flat ground and used a towel to simulate his delivery off the mound. How many more workouts like this before he can get on the mound and actually throw pitches?
“Hopefully, no more than two or three more times,” he replied. “It’s just getting stretched out. I throw from the first week of January to the start of spring training [to get ready to pitch]. That’s how long it usually takes. Hopefully, it doesn’t take that long this time.”
Just getting stretched out? Come on, Mark. We’re not that stupid. The elbow problem is obviously the holdup now, and the rumors swirling are that Prior will need Tommy John surgery.
“When players notice discomfort and changes in their pitching ability,” Jennifer Dawkins of drkoop.com writes, “it is not immediately apparent that something is seriously wrong. Ruptures are detected through a magnetic resonance imaging test, or MRI, sometimes after days or weeks of mild pain.”
Sounds a lot like Prior’s own reports about his elbow stiffness at the end of March:
They said it was like shin splints as far as an injury. They didn’t have any more specific answers except that it was inflammation around the bone. We didn’t know if it was pain getting referred over there and it was pain where I was having discomfort and stiffness and achiness.
Prior will keep long tossing until the elbow magically feels better, which seems unlikely, or an MRI confirms what everyone fears — a torn ligament.
So all bets are off now. This team will still compete, but there’s not much reason to hope for a World Series appearance, much less a championship. And with a minimum of a year from surgery-to-pitching and more like two years before Prior is really “back,” the outlook is decidely dimmer.
The Cubs can still be very competitive in the meantime. After all, they’ve still got Wood and Zambrano, along with some very promising minor-league pitching prospects. Sosa will still be here for a couple of years, Lee has been signed for three years and in the early going Ramirez appears to be showing that he has the stuff to become a long-term solution at third base.
Meanwhile, the end of Moises Alou’s and Alex Gonzalez’s contracts will free up millions to spend in the free-agent market to get much better players.
And if anyone can pitch productively into his early 40s, it’s Greg Maddux.
But the Prior equation is simply this: with him, the Cubs are a powerhouse; without him, they are just “a contender.”
Black people love Bush!
George Dubya, that is.
At least, I think that’s the lesson we are supposed to draw from Dubya’s “Compassion Action” photo gallery at his campaign Web site.
As Amy Phillips points out, of the 23 photos in the gallery, all but one picture Dubya interacting with nonwhite people. Perhaps the folks behind the hilarious Black People Love Us! site were hired on to head up the GeorgeWBush.com design team.
You angel you, you got me under your wings
Now that I think about it
Why should I deal with all the nausea, anxiety and misery that comes with being a Cubs fan? Life is short enough, you know.
I think it’s time I joined up with a winner. That’s why I’ve decided to start rooting for the evil, evil lovely, lovely New York Yankees. Hopefully this will be the year they finally overcome all the odds to win it all.
Did you know they’ve only won one World Series this millennium? And to think that I wasn’t on the bandwagon back then. Well, I’m riding it hard now baby. If A-Rod can defer millions in salary to go join the dark side mystique-and-aura filled Yankees tradition, why can’t I give up the misery of Cubs fandom to do the same thing?
That’s why as of today, April 1, I am officially switching my allegiance from the Chicago Cubs (and the Boston Red Sox) to the New York Yankees.
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