The dishes are done, man!

Dish magnet

We have this magnet to the left on our refrigerator here at home, as except for a break following my recent injury, I usually do the dishes. It’s funny, but is it true? While my exhaustive search did not confirm a counterexample to this bit of marital folk wisdom, common sense would indicate that it couldn’t possibly be true. What better time could there be to shoot one’s husband than while he’s doing the dishes?

The sink usually faces away from the center of the kitchen so his back is turned, meaning he can’t see his murderous wife pointing the gun. The water is running, meaning he can’t hear her deadly approach. Isn’t it, in fact, the most opportune time for a wife to shoot her husband?

The only possibility I see to explain why there might not be a recorded instance of such a shooting is that if a wife is really intent on shooting her husband, she might as well wait until he’s finished doing the dishes. Why interrupt him as his doing his last husbandly duty? She’d shoot him just as he’s drying his hands or something.

Surely, after dragging her husband out to the garage, hefting his body into the trunk of the car, dumping it into the river, disposing of the pistol, cleaning up all the blood and those tiny bits of brain that everyone knows are such a pain to get at, doing the dishes is probably the last thing wifey wants to deal with.

So perhaps it is accurate to say that no husband has been shot while doing the dishes, strictly speaking. As they say, a wife’s work is never done. Even when she’s made herself a widow.

UPDATE: To answer your question: No, I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately.