Deciding game of a crucial playoff series between the Boston Celtics and Philadelphia 76ers in Boston … how sweet it is. While I would have preferred that the Celtics finish things off in Philly, seeing a do-or-die game five in Boston shoudl be fun. And there’s not much the Celtics could have done. Iverson just took over in both games three and four.

One thing that irritates me is that the first-round games are so far apart. The first Celtics-Sixers game was way back on April 21. How long ago was that? The Cubs have won three times since then!

The NBA has really spread out the first-round schedule so that all the games could be televised and to get as much TV revenue as possible. I think it’s really a detriment to the flow of the first round and extends the playoffs unnecessarily. They already take too long as it is. Why make it worse?

After dropping both ends of a doubleheader to the Dodgers on Sunday, the Cubs wound up 3-6 on their homestand. Just wonderful.

Then they lost their second game on the road to the Padres after a Fred McGriff error that was called a hit by an official scorer who apparently fell asleep on the play. That was five losses in a row for the Cubs. They haven’t won since I went to the game last Wednesday. On the bright side, Sosa hit two home runs.

But they finally won today, 6-1. Offense, simply, is the difference. Yesterday the Cubs could muster only three. The Cubs have this special ability to make even the most mediocre pitchers look like Cy Young Award winners.

Alou hit a home run today, and that’s a start. Sosa, with two home runs for the second game in a row, looks like he’s getting into one of his patented hot streaks. It’s funny, because he hit eight home runs in April, and that’s not considered a really good month for him. So if the middle of the order can drive in some runners, maybe things can turn around. Patterson has an eight-game hitting streak going.

The starting pitching, certainly, has never been in doubt, with a solid 3.61 ERA, sixth in the National League.

It’s the relievers who have been a problem. Cub relievers collectively have an ERA of 4.90, 14th in the National League. Only the Phillies and Astros are worse. The bullpen was a strong suit for the Cubs last year. But aside from Joe Borowski‘s 2.08 ERA, the bullpen has been spottier than a leopard.

Alfonseca‘s been fine, but has only had four save opportunities. And as ballyhooed as closers are, they are not really the most important people in the bullpen. Much more important are the middle relievers who come in to keep the game close, hold the lead or match up with leftys or rightys.

The most spectacular failure thus far has been Jeff Fassero, continuing his disastrous second half of last year. Fassero pitched a scoreless inning today, but has an 8.49 ERA so far, and left-handed batters have an on-base average of .455 against him.

But he’s not the only one. Osborne, Zambrano and Sanchez have also fallen down on the job, and obviously the Farnsworth and Gordon injuries have hurt.

It’s a long, long season in baseball. It’s hard to extrapolate from one month how the rest of the season will go. The Cubs are now 9-17, eight games out of first place in the Central Division. This much is true. We will probably know before I leave for Washington, D.C., in the second week of June whether the Cubs will be contending throughout the summer or preparing for a rebuilding job.

There have been rumors that Baylor’s job is in jeopardy. While I think he’s a terrible manager and the wrong man to lead a roster of young players who will have the potential to make the Cubs a perennial winner, I don’t think firing him now will accomplish much. That said, I do think the Cubs should bring up Bobby Hill to lead off and play second base as soon as possible. DeShields is a giant black hole in the lineup, and has zero range defensively.

Derek Lowe, who could barely pitch a solid inning in relief last year, threw a no-hitter today. And that’s after he threw seven shutout innings in his first start of the year. Now he’s 4-1 with a 2.04 ERA.

Add to that the good news that Pedro appears to be back for good after another sterling performance last time out and John Burkett‘s surprising performance so far, and we’re looking at a pitching staff that — while it doesn’t hold a candle to the Yankees, A’s or Mariners — is not the complete disaster many thought it would be.

So much is going right for the first-place Red Sox. Nomar is healthy and hitting, Shea Hillenbrand has learned how to take a pitch, Johnny Damon‘s showing last year was a fluke, and Tony Clark should come around eventually.

Boston has a nice little team, but I still doubt that they’ll be able to hold off the Yankees for an entire season. But they could give them a fight into September, and it should be fun to see how things go. Heartburn-inducing, yes, but fun nonetheless.

I thought the Celtics were going to let that one slip away, but Pierce saved their butts in the fourth quarter with 11 points. (Interesting stat from the story I linked above: Pierce led the NBA in fourth-quarter points with 552. That’s pretty incredible, considering the competition: Garnett, Bryant, et. al.) In total, Pierce had 25 and Walker had 11, as compared to Iverson’s 29.

Charles Barkley made a good point for once on TNT, which was that sometimes the game of basketball is very simple. The Celtics have two bona fide scoring machines and the Sixers only have one. As long as the Celtics play good enough defense to keep McKie, Snow or Coleman from being a huge factor on the offensive side of the ball, they’re good to go.

So defense is the difference, but as clutch as Pierce was in the fourth, the Celtics had a very balanced scoring attack for a change. McCarty, Pierce, Battie and Williams all scored in double figures. It would be very nice if the Celtics could go into Philly and complete the sweep on their home court. Then the Celtics could just sit back and wait for their second-round opponent. By the way, it was great to really hear the Boston crowd really getting into it. They must be elated to have the Celtics playing games that matter again.

I went to the Giants-Cubs game on Wednesday night. The game was delayed a half hour by rain and it was really chilly in the ballpark. The cold winds pierced me to the bone. It was worth it, though, to finally see the Cubs get some clutch hitting. Sure, Clement didn’t have a third great start in a row, but Borowski was marvelous in relief again. He pitched 2 1/3 innings, struck out five and got the win.

Most important, of course, was that the offense finally broke through for 10 runs. Even McGriff got in on the act with a crucial triple to bust the game open. Dusty Baker chose to walk Sosa to load the bases in the sixth inning and McGriff made him pay. The nearly worthless Delino DeShields struck out four times in the game. He’s versatile, though — he struck out swinging three times and looking the other time. But the one time DeShields did not strike out was in the sixth, when he walked to keep the inning alive.

The only bummer about the game was that Bonds did not play. I can’t plame Baker for that, though. The field was wet and it was really, really cold. Why risk aggravating Bonds’ hamstring injury?

And today, the Cubbies won a close one, again keyed by a timely hit — this time from DeShields! Heh. He’s still awful, and I hope the Cubs bring up Bobby Hill as soon as he’s ready, but it’s still nice to see him come up with a big hit. And so much for Lieber’s arm troubles. He went eight innings with only 79 pitches, and Bonds didn’t even reach base.

Should be an interesting matchup tomorrow between Wood and Odalis of the Dodgers. Maybe the Cubs just needed a kick in the ass to get their act together. And here’s the beauty part. While the Cubs are five games behind the Pirates, who are in first place, they are within a half game and a game, respectively, of the Astros and Cardinals. The Cubs are lucky that their terrible start did not put them in a huge hole. Now they have to make the most of that by doing what they need to do to win ballgames until Mueller, Hundley, Gordon, Farnsworth, et. al. come back.

If you’re like me — and we all know you wish you were — you often think to yourself, “Self: Is there any more profound moment than when Keanu Reeves says ‘Whoa’ in ‘The Matrix‘ after Morpheus leaps across the street from one building to another in the Matrix simulation?”

And you probably answer, “No, there isn’t.” In that case, I strongly urge you to visit the Society for Keanu Consciousness. Learn about the Tao of No (the No Way) and Keanastrology!

First, Robert Blake. I don’t give a crap about his career, and I really don’t give a hoot about whether he killed his wife or not. I definitely don’t want to see this frivolous garbage eating up valuable time on the cable news stations from things that really matter, like the war in Afghanistan or the Mideast conflict.

I especially don’t want to see a repeat of the O.J. Simpson fiasco. I found the bookends to that whole ordeal fascinating. The Bronco “chase” and the verdict were both classic moments in American popular culture, and especially in the history of American television. But the trial itself bored me. And I couldn’t care less about Robert Blake. I never saw “Baretta.” The only thing I think I ever saw him was David Lynch‘s “Lost Highway,” and I hated that movie.

Second, ALF. What the hell is this character doing back on television in those always annoying 10-10-220 ads? I don’t get it. The only question is who’s more annoying: Terry Bradshaw or ALF? Close call. Actually, I enjoyed “Alf” when it was on the air. Then again, I was only 9 years old when it debuted.

Ebert sure is sour on “The Last Waltz.” He writes:

Watching this film, the viewer with mercy will be content to allow the musicians to embrace closure, and will not demand an encore. Yet I give it three stars? Yes, because the film is such a revealing document of a time.

Yes, it’s true that the Band looks ravaged by drugs and life on the road. That’s precisely why they were calling it quits. But to look at “The Last Waltz” as anything but a pure celebration of their music is to miss the big picture as plain on the screen as comical ’70s outfits.

Listen to the way Levon Helm — who was against the project, but participated anyway — sings his heart out on “Up On Cripple Creek,” “Ophelia” and “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down.” Look at the joy Rick Danko radiates as he picks bass and warbles his way through “It Makes No Difference.” Feel the soul pouring out of Richard Manuel’s voice on “The Shape I’m In” and from Robbie Robertson’s lead guitar on every song.

And it’s not just the Band. “The Last Waltz,” which I had the chance to see on the big screen for the first time last Friday night, features a long list of legends who deliver top-rate performances. Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Muddy Waters, Dr. John, The Staple Singers, Emmylou Harris … on and on it goes.

Ebert wants to turn this movie into a signpost for its times. In a way, it is. But what’s it’s all about, after the drugs and death and bitterness passes, is the music itself. And the music is pure joy. That is what made the Band a legend in the first place, and it is while they’ll continue on as legends long after the remaining Band members pass on.

Ebert writes:

At the end, Bob Dylan himself comes on. One senses little connection between Dylan and The Band. One also wonders what he was thinking as he chose that oversized white cowboy hat, a hat so absurd that during his entire performance I could scarcely think of anything else. It is the haberdashery equivalent of an uplifted middle finger.

In a way, Ebert’s writing this off as a sad exercise is like writing off Dylan’s blistering performance because of his hat. Ebert focuses on the ridiculousness of the time while missing the sublime art that was borne of it.

The first 18 games of the schedule were supposed to be a cakewalk. Instead, the Cubs have blew a golden opportunity to get off to a fast start, thanks to some bad luck, anemic offense and increasingly iffy defense. Increasingly, the question seems not to be whether the Cubs can contend for a division title or the wild card, but whether they can even finish above .500.

Sitting firmly in last place with a 6-12 record and second to last in the league in runs scored, it may be hard to see the bright spots now, but they are there.

• Corey Patterson: He has cooled off a bit, but he’s still showing that all the hype was right. He hasn’t showed any power yet, but that’s OK. He’s stolen six bases without once being caught and has a .785 OPS, including three triples. He made a great diving catch tonight.
• Matt Clement: This guy, in spite of his goofy goatee, appears to be the real steal of the Tavarez-Alfonseca deal with the Marlins. He’s had two strong consecutive outings, including a career-high 12 Ks and seven shutout innings last time out.
• Juan Cruz: He’s sporting an 0-4 record but that’s not his fault — the Cubs’ defense has allowed 10 unearned runs to cross the plate off him. He has a 2.14 ERA and is showing that last season’s surprise success was not a fluke.
• Injuries: Moises Alou is still getting into the swing of things. The Cubs’ offense, as anemic as it’s been, has not been at full strength. Alou is back now and hopefully can start contributing. McGriff has traditionally done better with warmer weather, as has Sosa (not that he’s been slacking so far, with seven home runs already). Also, third baseman Bill Mueller is scheduled to come back in early May, and he should provide a boost to the offense if he can contribute immediately.
• Slow-starting Central: Both the Astros and the Cardinals are off to slow starts as well, and the Cardinals have especially been bruised by some pitching injuires. The Pirates will fade, as will the Reds. Neither team has the pitching to hold up. So while it’s important for the Cubs to get some momentum going, this slow start isn’t as disastrous as it would be if, say, the Astros were 12-5 instead of the Pirates.

Enough optimism. If the Cubs don’t end up April by putting together some kind of string of victories together, we’re in for a long, long season. The Cubs don’t need to be .500 by May 1, but they do need to be a couple of games within .500. Frankly, they need to give fans something to cheer for.

They have just looked miserable. It’s one thing to lose close games; it’s quite another to surrender 6-0 first-inning leads or give up scads of unearned runs or get blown out of the water 12-4 as they did tonight. On top of all that, they’ve won only two of nine home games.

Mixed news: The good news is that there are rumors that Don Baylor may soon get fired; the bad news is that General Manager Andy MacPhail is denying them.

After the Yankees series restored Sox fans’ hope, Pedro has returned to being his usual wicked self. The Sox lost today, but things sure look a lot brighter in Boston than they do on the North Side. The Yankees are only a game behind and will catch up eventually, especially as Giambi starts heating up, but the Red Sox are definitely making it known that they’ll make them sweat and may yet contend with the A’s for the wild card spot. I only wish as much could be said for the Cubs.

Strong win by the Celts on Sunday against the Sixers. Don’t know why I thought they’d be matched up with the Hornets. Pierce showed, as if there were still any doubt, that he’s a money player: 31 points, 11 rebounds, four steals and three blocked shots. Awesome. But the C’s can’t let up now. They’ve got to win this second game and keep the home-court advantage. Then all they need to do is win one of two in Philadelphia.

Robert Iler, who plays Anthony Soprano Jr. — a.k.a. “Baby Bing” — on “The Sopranos,” pleaded guilty to mugging two kids and stealing $40 from them. Iler told the judge that he and two friends “spotted two youths walking toward them and decided to ‘hassle’ the pair.”

Here’s the best part. Iler’s lawyer said: ”My view is that he was a 16-year-old boy in the wrong place at the wrong time and didn’t have enough sense to walk away.” In the wrong place at the wrong time? Huh? Apparently, if you are a 16-year-old boy, the “wrong place and the wrong time” (i.e., with two friends and plenty of tempting mugging targets around) will make you do the craziest things. Silly Baby Bing. He got three years probation and his record will be sealed. Wonder if Tony paid off the judge?