At the corner of Lawrence and Kedzie in Chicago, a big red and white storefront sign with flashing white bulbs around it reads, “Al-Ameer Phone Cards and Shoes.”

It’s a great country, isn’t it?

New York Times reporter David Carr asks, “Can Maxim translate to TV?”

I’ll answer that with a question of my own: “Don’t breasts jiggle even more on TV than they do in magazines?”

Legendary Cubs third baseman Ron Santo has to have another surgery. He had his right leg amputated below the knee last December and now they’re going to do his left leg, all due to diabetes.

On the bright side, this may build up some sympathy for Santo in the Hall of Fame veterans’ committee which will determine whether he is one of the men immortalized in Cooperstown. I’m sure the Hall of Fame is not worth losing two legs for. One leg — maybe.

Bob Dylan’s “Blood on the Tracks” is one of the greatest albums in rock ‘n’ roll history, without question. But at a Dylan show, the most you might hear is “Tangled Up in Blue,” and it’s usually done up in any number of different arrangements the ever mercurial living legend might fancy.

So to hear Mary Lee’s Corvette go from “Tangled” through “Buckets of Rain,” with all the original arrangements and Mary Lee Kortes’s fantastic voice last night at Schubas was almost a revelation. Jay Bennet, formerly of Wilco, joined the Corvette on stage for a blistering version of “Meet Me in the Morning.”

After which, Mary Lee sang a couple of her own songs, and while they didn’t compare to the scenes of Dylan’s affair, they were very good in their own right. An unfocused performance of the 15-verse “Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts” was the only letdown in an otherwise memorable evening of music.

The greatness of Dylan’s artistry came sparkling through in the Corvette’s performance and Kortes’s singing, which is the biggest compliment that can be paid, I think.

At least one player has signed with the Cubs in part because of Dusty Baker.

New Cubs reliever Mike Remlinger said, “I think getting Dusty really added a lot of credibility. It’s easy for teams to say in the winter, ‘We’re going to be different.’ But when you bring someone in with Dusty’s track record, that says a lott.”

By the way, the Cubs have unveiled a new slogan, “Why not us?” after one of Baker’s lines at his first press conference as Cubs manager. Sure. Why not?

Or almost gone, if he and the Dodger’s Mark Grudzielanek can restructure their deals, whatever that means. Also coming over in the trade would be first baseman Eric Karros, who would play first base for Choi against lefties.

Assuming this happens, it’s a great addition by subtraction. Grudzielanek and Karros will help shore up the bench and … Hundley‘s gone! Since coming to the Cubs, he has hit .197, struck out 69 more times than he reached base safely, made 14 errors, and threw out a measly 30 percent of attempted base stealers.

Hundley was a terrible, terrible player, and I am thrilled that he will soon be gone.

The Cubs got the left-handed middle reliever they wanted in Mike Remlinger, and not at too steep a price — $10.5 million over three years.

I can see why the Braves only wanted to offer Remlinger, 36 years old, a three-year deal, and I can’t say I’m thrilled the Cubs decided to give him that extra year. But Remlinger, if his skills stay intact, will be excellent trade bait come next July or even the July after that. Who doesn’t want a good left-handed middle reliever when the dog days come around?

What I don’t get is the talk of signing Ivan Rodriguez. While he’s obviously the best catcher of our era (Piazza is just the best hitter who happens to be behind the plate), the Cubs have already signed two catchers and
are trying to get rid of a third.

I suppose that Miller and Bako are insurance in case I-Rod goes elsewhere, and are trade bait if he does wind up coming here. The beauty part is that I-Rod is also represented by Jeff Moorad, Dusty Baker’s agent.

Of course, Moorad also represented Jim Thome, who wound up signing with the Phillies for $82 million over six years. There was talk of a “hometown discount” for the Cubs, but that would had to have been awfully big discount to make the signing worthwhile.

With that $13 million a year the Cubs have already gotten an excellent lefty in the bullpen for $3.5 million. Now they’ve got another $10 million to throw at a third basemen or maybe catch a currently undervalued future Hall-of-Fame catcher in I-Rod. Don’t sound too bad.

Another entry into the idiot columnist sweepstakes is Jay Mariotti’s facile piece on how the Cubs’ not blowing wads of money on a slugger on the down side of his career when they’ve got a great young slugger at that same position and plenty of other holes to fill indicates their supposed unwillingness to win.

Yes, Jim Thome would be a great addition to the Cubs. It would be wonderful to have him back up Sammy in the clean-up spot. But even at the discounted rate he supposedly offered the Cubs (somewhere between $11 and $15 million annually for four years), the Cubs could get a good third baseman and two solid relievers. People seem to forget that the name of the game in baseball is the best team.

For all the money, Thome would still only bat four times a game. And he’s already 32. Certainly, such a deal would make a lot more sense if the jewel of the organization, Hee Sop Choi, didn’t already play that position. It is not a cheap-out to stick with the talent your organization has scouted and developed over an extremely costly free agent.

Phil Rogers offers up a bevy of options for signing Thome and trading Choi. At least he’s thinking, something Mariotti seems allergic to. And if the Cubs could pull off one of these deals, it might be worth it.

But I don’t blame the Cubs or general manager Jim Hendry for not rushing out there to take a chance on another organization’s hot prospect. It doesn’t matter how many home runs your first baseman hits if your bullpen blows the game in relief anyway. And good relievers come at a premium these days. Period.

Think Troy Percival. Think Robb Nen. Think Mariano Rivera. And, finally, think Byung-Hyun Kim, the only reason the D-Backs had to go seven games in 2001.

I guess this means they’re not going after I-Rod.

In Berwyn, before the Buddy & Julie Miller show at Fitzgerald’s: Don’s Old Time DVD Videos and Gift Baskets.

It was shut down. I wonder why.