… and what have you done with the Chicago Cubs? Sixteen runs last night, 15 runs tonight, three wins in a row for the first time since mid-June.

Come on, Cubbies. Don’t make me start believing again. I was ready for the long, long slide. And now this.

Baseball!

The Tribune’s Dan McGrath writes that Barry Bonds has put himself in Ruth’s company.

On the basis of Bonds’ numbers alone, it’s hard to disagree. One reason why Ruth’s numbers are so singularly … Ruthian, however, is that he outslugged entire teams.

For example, after a slow start — if we could even dare to call it that — Bonds leads the majors in home runs with 30 at the break. Three others are tied for second with 28 and 19 others have 20 or more home runs.

Meanwhile, when Ruth led baseball with 54 home runs in 1920. George Sisler came in second in the home run “race” with 19. Ruth reeled off a string of nine American League home run titles in the next 11 years, and he was injured for long stretches of the two seasons the crown went elsewhere.

It wasn’t until 1932, at 37, that Ruth permanently relinquished the home run crown. I think it’s fair to say that while over the last couple of years Bonds has put up Ruthian numbers, and that his career numbers may yet surpass the Babe’s, no player will ever impact the game of baseball the way Ruth did.

Which is why he’ll always remain the benchmark of comparison for hitters. That said, Bonds is getting there!

He has re-signed with the Nets instead of going to the Spurs. Apparently, Alonzo Mourning’s intention to sign with the Nets was enough to keep him there.

But it doesn’t make sense. He’s only getting a few more million over six years to stay in New Jersey, and they don’t have a prayer of ever winning an NBA championship, unlike the Spurs.

In San Antonio, Kidd could help reel off two or three championships in a row, easily. What an idiot.

… is altogether amusing, but has yielded what must be one of the top quotes of the year, from Milwaukee Brewers manager Ned Yost (who must have done something terrible in a previous life to deserve that job):

“I just looked over and saw our weiners in a wad,” he said.

Truer words have never been spoken.

The (Beckley, W.Va.) Register-Herald is all over this story:

Since there’s no veterinary clinic on Stanaford Road, an injured dog opted for the next best thing — a hospital for humans.

The black lab mixed breed, apparently hit by a car about 10:30 p.m. on the Fourth of July, limped up to the sliding glass doors at the front of Beckley Appalachian Regional Hospital. The canine triggered the automatic sensors and sought help in the hallway between Admissions and the pharmacy.

All righty, then.

That’s right, I actually paid 25 cents for Tribune Jr., aka News for Dummies.

The situation was this: I was walking Sportoboy and he did something I did not expect him to do. That is, I was unprepared — and so did not have the customary plastic bag in my back pocket for scoopage purposes.

Fortunately, Sporto did his business not too far from a RedEye box — you know, the obnoxious red boxes with the big ball on top; I guess that’s an eye, I don’t know.

The cover of the tabloid suited my scoopage purposes just fine, thank you very much. RedEye may not be better than looking out the window, but it’s better than getting yelled at by an angry neighbor.

At least the Tribune’s Phil Rogers agrees with me in his column, “Cubs should keep top kids.”

The brutal truth:

More than likely the Cubs will be making sucker bets if they trade away the legitimate prospects other teams desire — pitchers Juan Cruz, Francis Beltran, Todd Wellemeyer, Andy Sisco and Jae-Kuk Ryu — for short-term help, especially if such help does not answer to the name of Mike Lowell or Carlos Beltran.

Their lineup isn’t going to be good enough to win without a major overhaul. Not only do they have voids at third and now in center, they also must cope with Sammy Sosa’s downturn in production and a first-base platoon that is on track to deliver a Mark Grace-like 80 RBIs.

Factor in a disappointing bench and the strikeout propensity of Alex Gonzalez, Damian Miller, Hee Seop Choi and newcomer Jose Hernandez, and you have a team that isn’t going to score enough runs to win no matter how strong a pitching staff it might have.

Exactly. Try to do the best you can with what you’ve got now and retool in the off-season.

By the way, the real outrage about Dusty Baker is not his dubious views about blacks and Hispanics’ superior ability to play in hot weather, but his insistence on batting Eric Karros against righthanders (instead of Choi) and his irrational love of Lenny F. Harris and his .170-area batting average.

I have so much strength in me, you have no idea. I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.

— Barry Egan

Just saw “Punch-Drunk Love” again on DVD over the weekend. What a great movie.

Go rent it, buy it, steal it — now!

As if losing nine out of the last 12 wasn’t bad enough, now Patterson’s out for the season. The Cubs may now be especially tempted to trade away the farm for a slugger, any slugger, maybe even the slugging third baseman Mike Lowell. But I think the opposite is called for.

Patterson is a big part of the Cubs’ future, and there’s no point trying to desperately make up for his absence the rest of this season, when the team has clearly demonstrated it doesn’t have the stuff to make the playoffs anyhow.

The Cubs should be looking to unload Alou, Alfonseca (though who would take him?), Juan Cruz, etc. to teams in the mix with weaknesses at those spots.

According to the Tribune’s Paul Sullivan:

Cubs starters have a 2.27 ERA in their last 10 starts, yet the team is only 4-6.

What else do you need to know?

I know I’m late to the party on this one, but it’s difficult to overestimate what an astounding achievement Barry Bonds’ 500 home runs and 500 stolen bases is.

Over 15 years, it’s the equivalent of getting a 30-30 every season. Yes, the stolen base is overrated, but Bonds not only stole plenty but stole well, getting caught only 22 percent of the time.

Simply amazing. I don’t know why, but I see Bonds retiring after he passes Willie Mays. I don’t think he has it in him to make a run at Aaron’s all-time home run record. That is, unless he’s on a championship-caliber team. The Giants certainly are making another run at it this year.