After nearly two weeks of nonstop, daily coverage, well-placed sources tell me that not a single down of the coming Super Bowl has yet been played. The breaking news, which we are still trying to confirm during this scary and uncertain time, is that the Super Bowl is still scheduled to begin at 5 p.m. CST, Sunday, Feb. 6.

Of course, trying to find the game time at the official Super Bowl Web site is like trying to find a needle in a haystack — if the needle were subatomic and the haystack the size of the galaxy. Not that there isn’t plenty of mind-blowing analysis to be found there, such as this piercing insight courtesy of the brilliant mind of Gil Brandt:

I think it’s safe to say that you just never know what’s going to happen in the Super Bowl anymore.

That’s right, folks, predicting the future ain’t what it used to be. I honestly feel sorry for the football reporters who have to pump out two weeks worth of content when literally nothing has happened. That’s what they get for covering football. Schmucks.