In spite of my optimism about tonight’s game, I admit that I was more prepared for disappointment than for jubiliation. I’m just so used to it. I knew exactly how to talk away the pain, but how do I wipe the smile off my face?

It had been 95 years since the Cubs won a postseason series, which is kind of a dopey stat because back then — 1908 — the “postseason series” the Cubs won was the World Series. Still, it counts for something. It was step two. It has been 58 years since the Cubs won the National League pennant and earned the right to play in the World Series. That is definitely the more important streak, and hopefully one the Cubs will break.

I wanted very badly for the Cubs to win today not to avoid “tragedy,” but, simply, to keep the fun going. I would have been saddened not so much by the end of another year without a Cubs pennant, or a Cubs World Series championship, but by the end of the intense drama that develops when your team plays in October.

I didn’t expect this team to be this good this early, so it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the notion that this might be the year. It’s hard for me to keep from thinking of how much better they’ll be next year when Corey Patterson’s back and another offseason of Jim Hendry moves has improved the team’s shaky bullpen and Swiss cheese lineup.

Perversely, I’m already waiting until next year and this one hasn’t even ended yet! Tonight bought me at least another week of this orgiastic feeling of belonging to the drama of the postseason. That is why I can’t wipe the smile off my face.