I know I’m late to the party on this one, but it’s difficult to overestimate what an astounding achievement Barry Bonds’ 500 home runs and 500 stolen bases is.

Over 15 years, it’s the equivalent of getting a 30-30 every season. Yes, the stolen base is overrated, but Bonds not only stole plenty but stole well, getting caught only 22 percent of the time.

Simply amazing. I don’t know why, but I see Bonds retiring after he passes Willie Mays. I don’t think he has it in him to make a run at Aaron’s all-time home run record. That is, unless he’s on a championship-caliber team. The Giants certainly are making another run at it this year.

This now marks the fourth straight game the Cubs’ bullpen has blown. One of the many weaknesses of last year’s team was the bullpen, but this year so far it’s been much improved. It’s hard to say whether the pen has just hit a bumpy stretch is falling apart altogether.

Today’s loss to the White Sox also clinches the season series in their favor. The two teams seem to be going in opposite direction. Really, the Cubs haven’t looked all that impressive. Manager Dusty Baker keeps saying that the team hasn’t really clicked on all levels yet — as if that yet is guaranteed. That’s part of his optimistic approach, I understand, but the truth is that unless some players really overperform, this team is not going to score a lot of runs.

The starting pitching will keep the Cubs in most games, but without a reliable pen this team is finished. Unless they trade for Lowell and Sosa regains 2001 form. I don’t think either of those will happen. Frankly, I’m not sure this team is worth a big mid-season trade. It’s a fine club, and I’m glad to see Patterson, Choi, Prior and Zambrano come along.

But if they were in any other division, we’d be talking about giving Bobby Hill a shot at second base and getting David Kelton some playing time somewhere, because they certainly wouldn’t be in a dead heat for first place.

No, Karen and I aren’t about to endure anything even remotely close to Biblical. In preparation for her parents’ visit to Chicago and — apparently, the apocalypse — Karen ordered 12 two-liter bottles of soda pop and six (6) jugs of drinking water from Peapod.

“They were on sale!” she said and, it’s true, they were. Only 99 cents each for the pop. But still. You’d have thought we were about to host a really big Boy Scout meeting or something.

I don’t even know if Karen’s parents drink soda. This no doubt will be the first evidence used at Karen’s trial for involuntary commitment to a mental facility.