There it sits. Unloved. Unwanted. But why?

In the lobby of my building, the gift of a wide world full of possibilities awaits the “Current Resident” who has the wisdom to simply take it.

The shiny metal case, promising “1045 FREE HOURS!” But why won’t anyone pity that poor America Online promo CD?

“I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?!” it cries. “I just want to overcharge you for crappy connection service and allow spammers to target you mercilessly.”

Yet, amazingly, no one is interested. Oh, “Current Resident,” when will you ever learn?