I’ve been around for a quarter century now, so I like to think that I’m at least a little bit seasoned. I try not to get too surprised or shocked or outraged by our crazy little world. But the last week or so makes me think: What the hell is going on?!

• A squad of security goons comes up with the bright idea to unleash pepper spray in a packed dance club while smoke machines are blowing at full force leading to 21 deaths in the ensuing panic.
• A team of surgeons puts the wrong blood-type organs into a poor girl, leading to her death. Doesn’t anybody check these things?
• An over-the-hill ’80s hair-metal band comes up with another stroke of genius, deciding it would be a fine notion to set off pyrotechnics in a tiny Rhode Island club, leading to the death of 97 people.
• The United States government, already headed full-on into an unnecessary war with Iraq, negotiates to pay off one of its neighbors, Turkey, to allow U.S. troops to launch from there. If Iraq were the terrible threat that Dubya & Co. insists it is, wouldn’t its neighbors be more than happy to help out, instead of using the occasion as an opportunity for high-stakes blackmail?
• And yesterday, the Hall of Fame Veterans’ Committee, made up of the 81 living Hall of Fame players and broadcasters, didn’t vote Ron Santo into the club. He was a nine-time All-Star, won five gold gloves, and has hit more home runs than any other third baseman in baseball history with the exception of Eddie Matthews. It is a travesty.

And, of course, the Justice Department recently moved aggressively to take on the gravest threat to American’s security — Internet head shops. “It’s not a waste of resources. It’s still against the law,” Justice Department spokesperson Drew Wade told the Tribune. “The federal government has the right and obligation to enforce federal laws.”

Uh-huh. You’re right. It’s not a waste of resources. Everyone knows that bongs are a huge threat. I wonder if bin Laden agrees.

Then there are the occasions where the blunt tools of the government’s anti-terror campaign wind up being just silly. The government’s “Operation Tarmac” was supposed to make our airports safer by making sure the people working there weren’t somehow aiding terrorists or terrorists themselves. So they rounded up all the undocumented workers, people like Alejandro Alvarado, who’s about as likely to be a terrorist as I am.

UPDATE: Of course, Mike Schmidt is the all-time home run leader with 548, more than both Eddie Matthews’ 512 and Ron Santo’s 342. He slipped my mind. Thanks to Chuck for correcting the oversight