What a mandate

We voted for mayor and City Council in Chicago on Tuesday. Well, a few of us did. Well, a few of them did. I didn’t vote, because there was no choice. Mayor Daley, running against three no-name candidates who couldn’t even afford yard signs, not to mention TV ads, garned 79 percent of the vote and won all 50 wards.

A record-low turnout of about 400,000 voters definitely put a damper on Da Mare’s festivities. U.S. Census stooges counted 2.8 million people in Chicago proper in 2000. That means, if I have the math right, that only 14 percent of Chicagoans voted. And only 12 percent voted for Daley.

Wow. It’s like the opposite of Iraq where 100 percent turned out for Hussein. This is dictatorship by apathy. Another great Daley achievement.

No apologies necessary

The Chicago Tribune ran a very obnoxious story about Sen. Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) last Sunday. “Bill Frist makes no apologies for taking a private-sector approach to America’s substantial health-care problems,” the subhead reads. Here are the first few grafs:

At almost every turn, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist reminds people that he’s a skilled and trusted doctor, not just a politician.

As he walked to the Senate chamber to be sworn in as leader last month, the Tennessee Republican compared the exhilaration of the moment to his first heart transplant. In 2001, when anthrax threatened the Capitol complex, Frist published a handy guide: “What You Need to Know About Bioterrorism From the Senate’s Only Doctor.” On the door to his new suite of offices, the sign reads, “William H. Frist, MD.”

Now he is charged with nursing President Bush’s legislative agenda through the Senate. But a look at Frist’s history suggests that his approach to numerous complicated health-care matters is shaped more by being a conservative Republican — with a strong affinity for business and a family that founded a for-profit hospital chain — than by being a physician.

Apparently, conservatism (which in this case means a preference for markets over government control) is incompatible with being a physician. Because, of course, no doctor, Zuckman seems to suggest, who wasn’t blinded by free-market dogma would possibly prefer market solutions to health-care issues.

Frist “does not deny his strong preference for business-oriented solutions,” Zuckman writes. Why should he? Is there something to be ashamed of? Zuckman implies it, but never comes out and says it.

She then quotes a professor of Frist’s who says, “Culturally, he’s a physician and he would like every patient who suffers to get state-of-the-art medical care without having their family go bankrupt, but to be a player in Washington, you cannot offend the White House, and obviously he probably will temper his own preferences with a view of whether it causes trouble for the White House, because I think he’s a team player.”

Huh? So he’s not really a free-marketeer? He’s just going along to get along? And again, there’s this suggestion that, gee, if Congress just put its mind to it, every patient could have state-of-the-art care with no problem. As if socialized medicine didn’t lead to worse care and fewer innovations and longer waits.

I know something is happening, but I don’t know what it is

I’ve been around for a quarter century now, so I like to think that I’m at least a little bit seasoned. I try not to get too surprised or shocked or outraged by our crazy little world. But the last week or so makes me think: What the hell is going on?!

  • A squad of security goons comes up with the bright idea to unleash pepper spray in a packed dance club while smoke machines are blowing at full force leading to 21 deaths in the ensuing panic.
  • A team of surgeons puts the wrong blood-type organs into a poor girl, leading to her death. Doesn’t anybody check these things?
  • An over-the-hill ’80s hair-metal band comes up with another stroke of genius, deciding it would be a fine notion to set off pyrotechnics in a tiny Rhode Island club, leading to the death of 97 people.
  • The United States government, already headed full-on into an unnecessary war with Iraq, negotiates to pay off one of its neighbors, Turkey, to allow U.S. troops to launch from there. If Iraq were the terrible threat that Dubya & Co. insists it is, wouldn’t its neighbors be more than happy to help out, instead of using the occasion as an opportunity for high-stakes blackmail?
  • And yesterday, the Hall of Fame Veterans’ Committee, made up of the 81 living Hall of Fame players and broadcasters, didn’t vote Ron Santo into the club. He was a nine-time All-Star, won five gold gloves, and has hit more home runs than any other third baseman in baseball history with the exception of Eddie Matthews. It is a travesty.

And, of course, the Justice Department recently moved aggressively to take on the gravest threat to American’s security — Internet head shops. “It’s not a waste of resources. It’s still against the law,” Justice Department spokesperson Drew Wade told the Tribune. “The federal government has the right and obligation to enforce federal laws.”

Uh-huh. You’re right. It’s not a waste of resources. Everyone knows that bongs are a huge threat. I wonder if bin Laden agrees.

Then there are the occasions where the blunt tools of the government’s anti-terror campaign wind up being just silly. The government’s “Operation Tarmac” was supposed to make our airports safer by making sure the people working there weren’t somehow aiding terrorists or terrorists themselves. So they rounded up all the undocumented workers, people like Alejandro Alvarado, who’s about as likely to be a terrorist as I am.

UPDATE: Of course, Mike Schmidt is the all-time home run leader with 548, more than both Eddie Matthews’ 512 and Ron Santo’s 342. He slipped my mind. Thanks to Chuck for correcting the oversight