I’ve written headlines at the Chronicle and in copy-editing class, so I know that it’s a tough art to master. Conveying the substance of the story while saving space is a delicate balancing act. But the Sun-Times headline over a budget story today is just ridiculous. “Smokers, gamblers might balance budget,” it says.

The headline makes it sound as though smokers and gamlbers are contemplating a mad rush to Springfield where they’ll pore over the books and bring the state out of the red. If only we were that lucky. Instead, Springfield’s got some sin taxes in mind. That’s 25 cents a pack and more taxes on casino operators. Here’s what one of the top dogs had to say:

“It’s easier to be for things, the so-called sin taxes, than it is income tax. Much easier,” said Senate President James “Pate” Philip (R-Wood Dale). “The responsible thing to do is make some cuts and see how much we can get in cuts, and if we have to look for additional revenue, fine.”

Of course it’s easier to tax “things” than income, since almost everyone earns an income but not everyone buys certain “things.” It’s a classic case of penalizing a few disfavored activities to spare politicians the wrath of the voters — not to mention their pork-barrel programs. Despite his reputation as an arch-conservative, Philip is an archetypal RINO (Republican in Name Only) who leaps at every opportunity to increase the size of the state government — whether the issue is taxes or women’s reproductive freedom. The responsible thing to do, Pate, would be to cut spending until the budget is in balance.

But why do that when smokers and gamblers are so eagerly sweeping in to save the day? How noble of them.